i hate it. it’s boring and it just creeps me out. but i’m not talking about the school i’m in but my class. they insult me, bring up some unreasonable excuses to insult me more, and just plainly insult me. i can’t get rid of them whatever i do. (note: just some ayt? there are still those i love dearly, even though they still insult me as well. a big quote unquote to the boys of the class. i hate them. they hate me. it’s that simple i guess.) this fight with me and them has been going on since freshman year (i’m a junior now.) i still remember back then that my stupid ex (is that what you even call them these days? fck them.) started to call me ‘bakekang’. yeah, it’s the ugly girl from a drama i don’t even watch. then everyone especially the boys started calling me it as well. i couldn’t take it. it hit me so much. i knew i was ugly but they didn’t have to go that far. i hate them so much. someone actually called it to me directly and i purposely threw the chalkboard eraser so hard (didn’t care if he has asthma for it. too bad he didn’t.) and did so with a good aim too. i cried hard and loud that day. he started apologizing and i kicked him. sorry, but i just couldn’t forgive him, until this day. the girls all surrounded me, comforting me, telling HIM that he should apologize because he started it all, this mess. but he didn’t. i appreciate the girls, but they really didn’t get what i felt that day. i started to hold grudges among men. i didn’t trust them and after a while i would get close to them, plasticly. who wouldn’t. who wouldn’t in my kind of mind.

came second year. we were dressing up because it PE just ended, and i was just adjusting the blouse i wore because it didn’t fit right. one of the boys actually laughed at me, saying things like, ‘don’t do that or i’ll puke’ and some other things i really don’t want you to hear so let’s leave it at that. i didn’t mind it at first, but as the day passed it just struck me that i really hated boys (yeah, i forgot) and the INSULTS came back. without thinking i started to cry quietly while the others were doing their nonsense projects. stupid of me to let it go like that. someone saw me and started comforting me, which actually made me cry more. more stupid of me, they’d think i’m weak. i just let it go, since the guy actually apologized and it was kinda minor. i guess. but i don’t really think i’d forget such thigs. then the worst part happened. even the girls were insulting me as well. i hated it. i really thought they were fckd up b*@tches that could do anything they want just because they were fcking pretty. i needed help. that’s when i met the SMC.

they were this first year students i met in INTRAMURALS that actually came to be my friend (till now). i started to hang out with them more than my classmates. every forsaken minute of my life i’d be with them instead of those ones with pride. they accepted me, they didn’t. they laughed with me, cried with me, and played with me till no end, they didn’t. remember the photoblog i had in my previous blog? when i had posted oh so lovely pictures of me and my classmates? those were fake. i know it is. but before that, where did you think i’d be? of course. with them. they were my guardians from them, and i, oh, so wished that they were classmates instead of the greedy ones. i continued on until the end of the year. came summer, i stayed home, naturally. i didn’t want to go anywhere. started up blogging (okay this is going offtopic but go on.) on march 08. came out, hang out with them cam back, blogged. that’s all there’s to it.

came the opening day. i was worried. i couldn’t hang out with them as much as before. sophomores and juniors had different times for dismissals, and when it was our turn, they would start classes. it hit me rock bottom. my angels. i can’t get to them. this was what i thought at first, then something miraculous happened. our rooms are ADJACENT. like really close. the only thing dividing me to them was the walls, and the ladder up to the second floor. (tip: when you enter our school you are immediately at the third floor. you have to go down to go inside and vice versa) i would sneak up to them, make faces, and laugh. the teachers won’t even notice it. i assumed that would happen. instead less and less people were calling up to me. they’d grown up i guess, or just didn’t wanted to care. i don’t know. i’m total dumbstruck of what has been happening for the past three years, and i don’t think i’d get happier any minute. when i’m in school, i’m a whole differen’t person. i’m a fake. a bigger wannabe. i wasn’t me. and i can’t help it.

yeah. i said in my last post that i cut my hair short and here it is.
 
looks crappy. i couldn’t get more shots. sorry.

the tournament was moved to july 4. i don’t think i’d join though. it’s eating up my schedule. don’t ask. but most importantly, i got the top 7. haha.

i joined ate yesha’s spot the difference contest. not because i wanted to win (though i do), i just want to have fun a little. haha. you can still join. the rules stated there are pretty simple. all in all you just have to guess the differences between two pictures. and since i got it, i emailed her anyway. haha. so there.

happy father’s day to every dad in the world! and it’s our fiesta here too. so we had a double celebration. but we had father’s day for dinner. we surprised him with a cake XD. i think he’s happy because he told mama all about it when she went online. nuts. happy father’s day to your dad.

i’m using opera and it impressed me. i think it’s way faster than mozilla but still hating it because i just remembered that only mozilla can open up my site. darn. know why? let me know.